Blue Rinse Rising

All I wanted was to go to town, get my new phone, possibly a coffee, and then to come home.

To quote Top Gear 'How hard can it be?'

I found myself without benefit of coffee, clutching my new phone, following a trio of old women. Not something I find myself doing often I assure you all. These particular women were armed to the teeth with newspapers, Union Jack clothing, and their leader wearing a billboard. "Stop Corruption and the Communist EU agenda."

Don't get me wrong, but surely fear of Communism stopped in the early 90s, replaced by fear of religious fundamentalism? I don't begrudge them their stance against corruption, but the talk of communism intrigued me, as well as their free democratic paper the "UK Column"

Diving instantly for my trusty tape recorder, I began to record the march. A brief interview began to unfold, starting with the marchers asking me to publish whatever they said. Which I'm doing, for the benefit of all you out their waiting for a good laugh.

"That's what we need, we need stuff publishing. We cant get it onto main media because the main media's all biased against, they don't want the truth. They've got thugs on them that's why."

Forgive me for saying so, but within mainstream media, surely all political views are expressed? The Guardian is extreme lefty, The Independent is slightly left, and representing the right we have The Daily Mail and the Express. And as for having thugs on them, this is just untrue. If so, all newspapers would be either massively left wing, or massively right wing. As it stands, we have a nice mixture of both.

"Look up who the media's owned by. Look up who the American Federal Bank is owned by. Look up new world orders, sustainable development."

I have since done so, and found nothing but bizarre conspiracy theories, and articles on ecology. So I've got no idea what sustainable development has to do with the recession and a communist plot, but before I could question I was informed further about the state of the economic crisis.

"Big bankers deliberately caused this money collapse so that that happened (recession) and they will use that as an argument for going into a totalitarian, communist style state. All this that's happening isn't accident. the big bankers have had this planned for a long time and the Bilderbergers (the Bilderberg Group, annual meeting of bankers and those involved in finance) and all the rest of it"

With this information happily tucked away, I started to ask about sources. Naturally nobody was named, but I did learn this:

"From all over, we get information coming from all over. Inside parliament, from politicians. Some politicians don't want to be in the EU but they're overruled by the rest, most of them do."

Considering their aims for a "Democratic Britain," they don't seem to have much grasp of democracy. The majority of politicians, voted for by the public, want to be in the EU, at least according to what I'd just been told. Surely then this is democracy at work, with politicians voting over the future of the country? Just a thought.

"Brian Gerrish who writes the paper. Contact him to learn more."

And I think I will, and shall keep you all posted.

-Az

P.S. I took a copy of the UK Column, and it's possibly a more terrifying read than the Daily Express. And the website is worse. Here are a few of my favourite snippets of insanity.

"Marxist New Labour, Cameron's Fabian socialist Tories and Clegg's 'Rent-Boy' Lib-Dem Party."

"The work of the Brown, Cameron, Clegg cabal is treason"

And finally, an actual page long column

"The Discerning Christian Column - Explaining how Christianity is being Destroyed by the EU Beast." Possibly ignoring the fact that mainland Europe is more religious than Britain, seeing as they have The Vatican and all. The actual column sounds like a call to some holy war against the infidel, but then religious people would never use their beliefs to attack others would they?

Taking the smeg

I don't know if you've heard, but apparantly the country seems to having some sort of financial troubles at the moment! You can tell because everyone on the news is rambling on about it. It's interesting, from my point of view at least, that the economy is apparantly in a recession, and yet absolutely everywhere I look prices are plummeting! Petrol is down about 20p over the last 3 months, ASDA and the other big stores are still undercutting each other at every opportunity, in a seemingly desperate attempt to go bankrupt first.

So it seems from the point of view of the average consumer, the credit crunch is really positive! At least, as long as you don't want to sell a house or a car. Because prices are at an all time low, in just 10,000 miles supercars worth £100,000 are losing 80% of their value. That's £80,000 lost in just one year! On the plus side, if you're buying cars and houses, then its a golden age!

But to get onto the point of this blog, the sport we all know as "football" is really starting to take the piss. Manchester City are said to be offering £100 million to AC Milan to buy this "Kaka" fellow, and in turn are planning to give him half a million quid a week. Half a million a week!! That's almost enough to buy a "hearty" American lunch! And I do worry about the effect this is all having. I mean, I have nothing against sports people such as Wayne Giggs and Phillip Rooney being paid lots of money, they do have a very hard job. In the case of footballers its intensive training every single day, plus 90 minutes of crunch time when you're expected to perform, plus helping run soccer schools, coaching younger players, you have to stick to a strict diet/fitness program... but £500k a week?

Let's put that in context. Kaka, if he comes to Manchester City and earns this wage, will be able to buy FOUR Aston Martin's each week. If he saves up for 14 days he'll be able to buy a Bugatti Veyron. What do you even DO with all that money? Couldn't it be better spent?

So I think the solution to these "taking the piss" sums of money is very simple. Ban footballers from using it. Or maybe not the players, just their clubs. All they ever seem to do is give each other money for players, these guys have their own little economy within the walls of their fancy stadiums. So I reckon instead of wasting proper money, they should all just use Disney money. Or the stuff you play monopoly with. Give Kaka £50 for the shopping and an Aston each week and he'll be happy enough! It'll leave a bit more for the rest of us who have to deal with REAL problems such as....not having very much money!

- Fox