Friday 24 April 2009

As if we had anything important to say

I do sometimes stop and wonder what the point of writing these things is. Am I going to change the world? I somehow doubt it. Will I affect the way people think? Probably not. I can't even think of anything funny to write these days! I did hear a good joke the other day that I thought might work well here but I forgot the punchline. And also the bit leading up to the punchline. So the whole joke, really, and I don't know if you've noticed but humour tends to be slightly less effective when it doesn't consist of words.

Still using a "u" in humour, by the way. I may be putting on a bit in ice cream but I'm not American yet!

Speaking of ice cream, that leads me very nicely into the realm of today's topic, which is of course the fast paced, unrelenting nature of western culture these days. I'm not the first person to point out how traditional values and the serenity of times gone by has been lost, buried under a carpet of fast food, MP4 players, SMART Cars, and "Lady GaGa". In fact, I'm not one of the people who is going to point that out at all. The way I see it, if we're living longer nowadays, and simple things are taking less time to do, we have more time than any generation before us to enjoy ourselves. Or earn some money, or catch up on university work, or sit around eating up just that little bit more of bandwidth on the great information highway.

I've heard people say "Look at all the amazing stuff you take for granted" a million times, and really don't understand where they are coming from. Taking for granted what 50 years ago was in the realm of science fiction is just a testament to human achievement. If our basic living standards are that much higher, imagine how much cooler all the stuff we get excited about is! Holograms, holidays in space, we're well on the way to creating a world we could only previously find in games like Star Ocean, is that not something to be proud of? Never being satisfied drives ambition, which drives us forward.

On the flip side however, and I do apologise for lowering the tone of mindless optimism to something a bit more grounded in reality, this modern trend of instant gratification really gets you frustrated when you use something that is lagging a bit behind. Waiting 2 whole weeks for a parcel from Hong Kong? What are we in, the dark ages!? It annoys me that I let myself get irritated at such petty things, but then I suppose that's what this big white space in the middle of my screen is for - so I can ramble on and remind myself and any of you who have run out of Stephen King/"What Turtle?" to read that things aren't that bad really. 

I've also just realised that stuffing my face with ice cream might be why I'm struggling to get fit for for Karting!

Right, I've fulfilled my time wasting requirements for today, if I encouraged thought from anyone at all, I guess I can count that a success! I'll keep an eye out for anything that might make you laugh and be back quicker then you can say the phrase spelled out in the hidden message I have constructed during this post. Jot down any guesses in the comments of this post, some shiny karma to the person who gets it first!

Keep the fire burning, and embrace your dreams.

- Fox

Monday 13 April 2009

Sorry I took so long

Right. The world.

More specifically the UK, my home. Cesspool.

Wanna know why? We're a nation of evil bigots, racists, homophobes, and we celebrate ignorance.

More or less every newspaper in the whole fucking country has been babbling on and on about Jade Goody, and it's only through an actual tragedy that she's been shifted. Thank fuck for that. But bashing Jade Goody isn't why I'm typing, we have sickipedia for that.

I'm referring to a pair of people I heard talking on the bus to work. A pair of old women talking about Italy, and how the Earthquake means less of them to come here. Less Italians to come to England.

What sort of fucking idiot right-wing rag have these two been grinding up and snorting? How many Italians are flocking to England in their masses to escape an evil regime and seek a better life/steal our jobs and women? It's pretty unheard of. They have no evil regime, although Berlusconi is a bit of a tit, albeit one with balls. And they're doing better than us for jobs, and one would assume they're doing alright for women, otherwise we'd have heard about their population suddenly dropping.

They continued talking, and I carried on listening.

"Serves them right really, they're all a bunch of queers. It was probably God who did it."

It really gets you down knowing that people like this exist. The only possible solution as far as I can see?

Whenever you see an OAP, scream at them "Your political views are wrong!"

And now, to cheer up this rather serious post, some of Berlusconi's best hits.

  • To those left homeless after the earthquake: "Pretend it's a camping holiday"
  • To a German politician: "Mr Schulz, I know a movie producer in Italy who is making a movie about Nazi concentration camps. I suggest you play the role of a Kapo You are perfect for the part!"
  • In reference to liberal politicians: "The left has no taste, even when it comes to women"
  • In reference to Barack Obama: "I hear he has a nice tan" (Apparently, I haven't confirmed this)

-Az