Friday 10 October 2008

The Hidden World of Crap Spewing

T'other day, my girlfriend and I witnessed a rather enjoyable documentary on the magic box we call television. Part of the Channel 4 "Dispatches" series, it was all about lap-dancing. (I now hide as every man in the world hates me for having a girlfriend willing to watch such a feature, and as such they want to beat my head in with a rusty pike) Not enjoyable for the obvious reason I assure you, as most of the girls were hideous, and no doubt date knife-wielding Adidas clad psychopaths of the night. It was also quite heavily censored, so I could have had a better time watching girls on youtube, but I digress.

The aforementioned programme was so amusing simply for the remarkably conservative and traditional views it portrayed. Whilst it was ostensibly to catch out venues for not sticking to the rules, the main implication was one expected of a strong catholic, i.e. "Ban this filth". And whilst interviews with shocked (and old) residents were abundant, there were absolutely no interviews with those in favour of such establishments, and not much in the way of a reply from the establishments themselves, despite the "Right to reply" that the show said they had.

So, the response, from the less fascist point of view. Let people chose what they want to do! Those who say to ban these venues on ethical grounds can go and fuck themselves sideways with a bible, if you find it offensive then don't look at it, nobod's forcing you to go there. If it makes you feel better, then we're all going to hell for a few seconds of tits, but at least admit it's our own silly fault. And hey, if your religion turns out to be the shitpiece we suspect it to be, then us sick, perverted communists get a bit of a giggle too. I'm sure that there are many lap-dance connoisseurs who take offense at churches, but live and let live guys. At least this is fair. Alternatively, fuck off to Middle-America where you happily pray, hope that there'll be a cure for all the poor homosexuals, and fornicate with your blood relations.

-Az

P.S. On an unrelated note, Sarah Palin is in the new Fall Out Boy Video. If anybody has any suggestions why this is, feel free to let me know. The only explanation I can think of is that FOB are psychotic Republicans, which wouldn't surprise me as the Pete Wentz does look the product of several generations of inbreeding. Either that or they've already had monkeys in one video, so may as well move on to pitbulls.

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