Thursday, 15 May 2008

I think you're fit but my god don't you know it

Whilst all of you out there who read this semi-regular writing all hold similar opinions of me (You either want to be me or spend your time vigorously masturbating over me, depending on gender and sexual preference) I would like to make one simple request, even though you so obviously hold this opinion, never, ever, refer to me, or anybody as being "fit".

Over the top egotisical ranting aside, I really mean it. 'Fit' in terms of physical attractiveness is just fucking stupid and I dislike it. Much the same as the word "Innit" it reeks of laziness and show a remarkable lack of vocabulary. Why not try a new word, like "Pretty", or "Beautiful" or some such, possibly combining words to form an accurate description, maybe injecting some slightly more intellect into your conversations. Example:

Cor, she/he/it's well fit innit?! - Bad sentence construction
I say, what an attractive young lady/unrivalled example of man/lovely statue of the late Linda McCartney. - Good sentence, although if you go after statues of the late Linda McCartney there's something wrong with you.

It might just be me and my obvious southern pansy ways, but these speaking mannerisms are bloody annoying. Especially as they are often found in conjunction with overly jingoistic political views, who wish for England to remain England, largely place immigrants as the sole reason for everything wrong with this country, and complain that they can't even speak the language.

Which to me seems somewhat hypocritical. My advice for these Stella -swilling scrotum suckers is to buy a thesaurus, and get one of your imbecile friends to beat you to death with it.

-Az

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