Some Say He's Michael Schumacher

The tearing down of the Berlin Wall. The signing of the Declaration of Independence. South Park making fun of Tom Cruise. In all my days I never thought these historic events and others like them could ever be equalled in terms of their cultural magnitude. But I was wrong, as The Stig finally lifted his helmet and answered the sole question that had troubled philosophers beyond the beginning of Top Gear itself. As Descartes famously once said:

"I think, Therefore I am The Stig".

So, after 5 years of speculation, we all finally know. ....or do we?

No, is the answer most people will agree on, which is exactly what the devious bastards at the BBC will have been aiming for! The beauty of revealing the identity of one of modern TVs most recognizable icons is that no one was ever going to believe it, true or not! The speculation has gone from "Who could The Stig be?" to... well, the same question really! Especially after Schumacher talked about having to do a few practice laps in the car he had to drive in order to learn the track. One would think the man who had done nothing but drive cars around that track for years would know more or less where the corners were.

Interestingly, with the "reveal" of Schumacher as The Stig, and the effectiveness of keeping his identity secret for so long, I think the BBC have accidentally created something truly amazing. I no longer think it is even possible to know the identity of this mysterious tame racing driver. Some say...he is Ben Collins. Some say... he is more than one man. Some say it really is Schumacher. The point is, even if Ben Collins or someone were to admit it, a large amount of people would have their doubts, and how could you PROVE that you are the Stig? Removing the helmet on TV obviously doesn't get the job done, and the outfit is available to all who can afford it. We don't exactly have dental records to go on!

Maybe one day we'll all start to believe that he really is a feral racer, tamed by the BBC and put in a zoo of horsepower and noise for all to stare at. Some say it would be kinder to let him run free in the wild. But...what would he drive there?

- Fox