Wireless Internet

I'll be honest, I know very little about computers. I can type in word, download music, and check wikipedia. Thats as far as my skill goes. So thus, when it came to setting up a wireless network in my house, I was rather stumped. Thus I phoned my good friend Phil.

Our attack of the wireless internet started badly, equipped with entirely the wrong router, and thus we set off for PC World, where we were assured that the router we had could work. This was a lie.

A quick phonecall to the makers of this router revealed that with my current ISP, wireless internet didn't work with the router. Fuck. (My ISP, by the way is the hellbeast that is known as AOL. We really should have expected problems from the off.)

So, armed with my mothers credit card, and the model number of a router that we were assured would work, we went back to PC World. And conversed with a rather smug, annoying tech guy about modems, and he directed us to a new toy, refusing to take the old router from us.

Needless to say, the new router failed abysmally to work. It was then that we discovered that my internet comes via a coaxial cable in the wall, and into my current modem. The router had no coaxial socket. (Coaxial, by the way, is circular. Like the old sockets in ancient style TVs.) Thus, with this rather useless router, BACK TO PC WORLD! Listening to the soundtrack to Neon Genesis Evangelion on the way. This did not help subsidise our current rage, having been deceived by two tech dudes.

And again, we were served by smug, annoying tech dude. Who couldn't comprehend what we were trying to tell him.

Us: We have a coaxial coming from the wall, which won't go into the modem.
Him: You can't though, youve got a box on the wall yes?
Us: Yes.
Him: and thats plugged into the modem through an ethernet cable?
Us: No it's coaxial. It's circular.
Him: And then youve got an ethernet connection going from the modem to the computer.

This repeated a few times.

Then we began to get irritated.

Rage flowing, we explained patiently to the useless tech dude of the year, that we had both seen with our own eyes, the cirular coaxial, and this was unable to fit into a rectangle ethernet or USB slot. The ability to judge things using our senses is a rather important one, and in fact is one of the foundations of scientific investigation. Quite frankly the man was a fucking idiot, and violent slaughter against individuals like this is to be encouraged.

-Az