First of all, a "quick walk up the road" to the Chinese should not involve a 3 month hike over the alps. When I go out for a take away I expect to be back with the food before its country of origin has been conquered by the US Empire. Having said that - ruined expectations and a hatred for yet another flatmate aside - the meal was nice and you get a portion of chicken chow mein the size of Morroco for your money.
During this expoedition though, my flatmates and I were the targets of a drive by. And even though we may live in the toughest, meanest, ugliest part of Britain you can find - Britain is still where we are. Gangsters this side of the pond don't resort to the vulgarity of firearms, and so hurl nothing more dangerous than a few well chosen words out the window of their custom modfied Fiat Punto, before speeding off smugly in the knowledge that our self esteem has been ruined forever.
Unfortunatly, what this approach makes up for in dignity, it loses in effectivness. It's not that I long for the searing kiss of lead against my skin, but it is impossible to make out what these people are shouting. Why lean out your window to crush my spirit when all that reaches my ears is "farf"?
The entire thing just throws into stark reality the state of this country as a whole. As we're gradually assimilated into the 51st state, we're not only losing our identity as a country, but we're not even doing it right. American gangsters are cool. Which means the police have to be even cooler to maintain the status quo. But what about our criminals?
Well, our cops drive Vauxhall Astras. Draw your own conclusions.
Overall, British Gangsters = 3/10.
- Fox
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